Drug
by write4evr
Summary: You're even more beautiful when you're not breathing... {The amount of times that I typed 'wear' instead of weak is absolutely ridiculous. u.u}


**So hi. I'm not dead ^0^ Anyway, Will's internal monologue kind of goes back and forth between…narrating (I suppose), and seeming to be thinking at Jem. It's because he's a bit touched in the head.**

** He's a Herondale. Did you expect any more, any less?**

Your dull presence buzzed in the back of my mind. Your weak life, the life that I had felt since we'd been bound together, throbbed along with my own heart. I sat, absently drumming my fingers, waiting for it to end. Things will be so much simpler when you stop breathing. Watching you fade has been torture. Your death is likely to kill me faster than it kills you. Do you know that? Possibly. But do you care?

You see to think that I'd be fine. You for some reason believe that I care about this life enough to even _try _to be fine. I'm coming with you when you die. One of use can't be dead without the other being dead too.

Life without you wouldn't really be life anyway.

You're hardly living _now. _You're weak. _Weak. _The weak _do not survive. _You know that. And your weakness is making _me _weak.

Do you even realize how _hard _it has always been to watch you _crumble _into a pathetic _nothing? _You are _nothing _anymore.

"I _hate _you," I muttered agitatedly to myself, getting up from the large library chair and pacing, hands shoved deep in my pockets.

And yes, James, I _have _been avoiding you. I _do _treat you differently. Whether you like it or not, you are _fragile. _Broken. Lost cause. _Useless. I __**hate **__you. _But you want me with you? Fine. You want me, you'll get me.

With your _fragile, _sweet face, smile, light eyes, and soft voice rolling in my head, I stormed to your room. I only calmed my angry, dark movements when I was right outside your door. Languidly, I slip into your room, closing the door with a soft bang so you know I'm there. You jump, and I fight to keep my eyes from narrowing. Did I really surprise you? Have your sense dulled this much?

You are hardly even a Nephilim anymore.

You're taking that damn drug again. You filthy, needy addict. Your life is _over. _Your time has _run out. _So why bother? You disgust me.

I slide over and take the glass out of your hands. Drop it and listen to it shatter. The surprised look you give me makes me want to watch _you _shatter. And oh, I could break you so easily. You're like perfect, imported, fancy China. The slightest jolt could broke you into a million, beautiful, little pieces.

Oh, I wish you'd break.

I put an arm around his waist and pull him tight against me, tight enough that he squirms. Trying to move away from me—the nerve! After all that begging for me to just _hold _him like I used to. Ungrateful slut. You weak, fragile, _weak _being. You're like a mundane. You're not even my Parabatai anymore. You're poison, like your drug. _You _are _my _drug.

And, just like you with your drug, I don't want to need you. So I _will get rid of you. _I will _not _be addicted to it. I know I won't be able to live without you either, though.

Giving him a sweet look, I knock the case filled with his drug to the floor. Calmly watched the silver powder float away while his mouth fell open into a silent cry. That silver. It's a cold beauty. It matches his eyes.

"_Will," _He gasped, "Why would you…?!"

My stomach lurched at the sound of my name on his lips. I used to love heard my _brother _say it. I felt so important when he did. _You _are not him though. _You _are a parasite.

I _hate _you.

Trying to keep calm, I press him between the wall and my body. He looks teary. Nephilim do not _cry _over stupid things like _this, _you _wear bastard._

"You don't need it. You're dying anyway. Why try to stop it? Death is at your door, James," I said in a soft, smooth, calm voice.

His eyes welled up more, "Get _off _of me," He choked out, pushing at me weakly. _Weakly. _You're nothing but _weak _anymore.

I shook my head simply, and your tears spilled over. Smiling softly, I press my lips to yours. Brush your tears away. Cup my hands on each of your cheeks.

"God, I love you. I love you. I hate you so much, Jem…and I love you," I whisper lovingly.

And then I snap his neck.

Feel my second heart beat stop. Hear the buzzing in the back of my mind end.

Watching you with loving eyes, I snap his head the other way, just to make sure. Then I scoop him up, place my missing piece onto the bed. I stroke his death colored hair softly. There is a weight off my shoulders now that he is gone.

"You're even more beautiful when you're not breathing," I murmur.

I'm smiling. Because now both of our drugs can't haunt us anymore. And I've helped you along with the next step—dying without the drug.

Now I just have to find someone to help me. Silently, lightly, I walk away from you, out into the hall without looking back.

I'm going to find Camille. I'm sure she'll be willing to help me join you.

**Expect grammar mistakes, I haven't slept in a solid two days and I wrote this in class plus I didn't edit it. *like a sir***


End file.
